Saturday, March 12, 2011


I have been a little distracted lately. Ella Rose would have been 6 this year, and I wonder what our lives would have been like with 3 little ones running around. I guess being a little distracted isn't a bad thing. I think about her often, everyday as a matter of fact. It's kind of a funny thing. Whenever I see butterflies I think of her. The day we laid her to rest there were butterflies everywhere and can't help but think of her with all the butterflies all around us. So hard to believe...six years. Wow, where has the time gone.

When I think of her and the tragedy of that, I have trouble putting things into perspectives. That's an odd statement I guess. It's just...lately I've learned more about other people, friends, who have had their own brands of tragedy in thier lives and I am left feeling just a little depressed. Why does so much tragedy and bad have to happen to so many people? Recently we lost a great friend to pancreatic cancer at the age of 35. I heard about a young man in our community who is 26 years old and has a wife and two small children who was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and is fighting for his life at this very moment. A child at the preschool where I work, her mom was just diagnosed a couple of weeks ago with stage 4 breast cancer. I hear of so many people who are dealing with tragedy and I feel so badly that so many people have to suffer like this. I guess I felt better when I thought I was one of a few that had such hardships. It's a little disheartening to find there are far more suffering than I ever imagined. And then the devastation in Japan and the tsunami. so hard to see but I will continue to pray for the devastation in Japan and all the families who have lost so much there.

Anyway, as my motto says, trying to take it day by day, step by step. I am trying to find the good and positive and wonderful in each new day. Trying to remember to count my blessings and be thankful for what I do have and for what my friends who have been or are still suffering have. There is so much goodness in the world, so many things that are right, we must not lose focus of them and let the dark take hold. Rejoice in the small moments, connections with old friends, bright clear spring days, the beauty of the flowers as they start to bloom and show their vibrant colors on the trees, the smile of a loved one, a hug, a random act of kindness from a stranger, our own health, the fact we have roofs over our heads and food on the table and jobs. You just never know what those around you are going through.There is much to be thankful for....just trying, trying to keep that as my focus. And I will always, always love watching the beautiful butterflies!

I recently came accross this quote that sums it up:

"Resilience is accepting your new reality, even if it's less good than the one you had before. You can fight it, you can do nothing but scream about what you've lost, or you can accept that and try to put together something that's good."

- Elizabeth Edwards

So very, very true.

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